{"id":2108,"date":"2019-04-06T19:33:55","date_gmt":"2019-04-06T19:33:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.syyhoaxanalyzer.com\/?p=2108"},"modified":"-0001-11-30T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"-0001-11-29T17:00:00","slug":"Joke---Thanks-for-all-the-Educational-Emails","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.syyhoaxanalyzer.com\/?p=2108","title":{"rendered":"Joke &#8211; Thanks for all the Educational Emails"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div class=\"inner-post-entry\">\n<p>The following clever little humour piece provides a telling look at the impact of all those emailed warnings that continue to circulate. \u00a0 <\/p>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script><br \/>\n<!-- HS Net Top Content Responsive --><br \/>\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\n     style=\"display:block\"\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-0355887770822260\"\n     data-ad-slot=\"4870821038\"\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"><\/ins><br \/>\n<script>\n(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\n<\/script><\/p>\n<p>The joke circulates via email and has also been posted on many websites, blogs and social networks. Who originally penned the piece is currently unclear. Where applicable, I&#8217;ve included an in-text link to an article about the email forward mentioned in the joke.<\/p>\n<p>By the way, the &#8220;boiling water in the microwave&#8221; warning is valid and the &#8220;lemon peel bacteria&#8221; warning also has factual elements.<\/p>\n<div class=\"example\">\n<p><b>Subject: Fw: Thank you!!<\/b><\/p>\n<p>As we progress through to the end of 2010, I want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.<\/p>\n<p>I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the \u00a0<a class=\"norm\" title=\"Bacteria on Restaurant Lemon Slices Warning\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.com\/bacteria-lemon-slices.shtml\">waitress put lemon slices in my ice water<\/a> \u00a0without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.<\/p>\n<p>I can&#8217;t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.<\/p>\n<p>I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one&#8217;s nose.<\/p>\n<p>Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.<\/p>\n<p>I can&#8217;t touch any woman&#8217;s handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public restroom.<\/p>\n<p>I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat poo in the \u00a0<a class=\"norm\" title=\"Roach Eggs on Envelopes Hoax Email\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.com\/roach-eggs.html\">glue on envelopes<\/a> \u00a0because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.<\/p>\n<p>ALSO, now I have to \u00a0<a class=\"norm\" title=\"Leptospirosis Death Warning - Rat Urine on Soda Can Top\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.com\/leptospirosis-soda-can.html\">scrub the top of every can<\/a> \u00a0I open for the same reason.<\/p>\n<p>I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (<a class=\"norm\" title=\"Amy Bruce Charity Hoax\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.com\/amy-bruce-charity-hoax.html\">Amy Bruce<\/a>) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time.<\/p>\n<p>I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates\/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for \u00a0<a class=\"norm\" title=\"Microsoft Email Beta Test Hoax Continues\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.com\/microsoft-beta-test-hoax.shtml\">participating in their special e-mail program<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa is granting my every wish.<\/p>\n<p>I can&#8217;t have a drink in a bar because I&#8217;ll wake up in a \u00a0<a class=\"norm\" title=\"Kidney Stealing Hoax\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.com\/kidney-stealing-hoax.html\">bathtub full of ice<\/a> \u00a0with my kidneys gone.<\/p>\n<p>I can&#8217;t eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.<\/p>\n<p>I can&#8217;t use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.<\/p>\n<p>THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.<\/p>\n<p>BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.<\/p>\n<p>I no longer buy petrol without taking someone along to watch the car so a \u00a0<a class=\"norm\" title=\"Gang Member Hidden in Back Seat Myth\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.com\/gang-member-back-seat.html\">serial killer doesn&#8217;t crawl in my back seat<\/a> \u00a0when I&#8217;m filling up.<\/p>\n<p>I no longer use \u00a0<a class=\"norm\" title=\"Plastics Cancer Link Email - Freezing Plastic Bottles - Plastics In the Microwave or Car\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.com\/plastic-cancer-link-hoax.html\">Cling Wrap in the microwave<\/a> \u00a0because it causes seven different types of cancer.<\/p>\n<p>AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can&#8217;t \u00a0<a class=\"norm\" title=\"Superheated Water In Microwave Can Explode - Email Warning\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.com\/microwave-water.html\">boil a cup of water in the microwave<\/a> \u00a0anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.<\/p>\n<p>I no longer go to the \u00a0<a class=\"norm\" title=\"HIV Infected Needles on UK Cinema Seats Hoax\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.com\/hiv-cinema-hoax.html\">cinema because I could be pricked with a needle<\/a> \u00a0infected with AIDS when I sit down.<\/p>\n<p>I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a \u00a0<a class=\"norm\" title=\"Perfume Email Hoax\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.com\/perfume-bogus-warning.html\">perfume sample and rob me<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to \u00a0<a class=\"norm\" title=\"809 Area Code Scam Warning Email\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.com\/area-code-809-scam.html\">dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill<\/a> \u00a0with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan .<\/p>\n<p>I no longer buy biscuits from Tescos \u00a0<a class=\"norm\" title=\"Neiman Marcus Cookie Hoax - $250 Cookie Recipe\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.com\/neiman-marcus-cookie.html\">because I now have their recipe.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>THANKS TO YOU I can&#8217;t use anyone&#8217;s toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.<\/p>\n<p>AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can&#8217;t ever pick up a 10p coin dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.<\/p>\n<p>I can&#8217;t do any gardening because I&#8217;m afraid I&#8217;ll get \u00a0<a class=\"norm\" title=\"Brown Recluse Spider Bite Warning\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.com\/brown-recluse.html\">bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>If you don&#8217;t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor&#8217;s ex-mother-in-law&#8217;s second husband&#8217;s cousin&#8217;s best friend&#8217;s beautician . .<\/p>\n<p>Oh, by the way&#8230;..<\/p>\n<p>A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t bother taking it off now, it&#8217;s too late.<\/p>\n<p>P. S.: I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.<\/p>\n<p>NOW YOU ALL HAVE YOURSELVES A VERY GOOD DAY&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><\/br><\/br> Original Source : <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.net\/joke-thanks-for-all-the-educational-emails\/\" target=\"_blank\">https:\/\/www.hoax-slayer.net\/joke-thanks-for-all-the-educational-emails\/<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The following clever little humour piece provides a telling look at the impact of all those emailed warnings that continue to circulate. \u00a0 The joke circulates via email and has also been posted on many websites, blogs and social networks. Who originally penned the piece is currently unclear. Where applicable, I&#8217;ve included an in-text link [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6890,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2108","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hoax-inggris"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.syyhoaxanalyzer.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2108"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.syyhoaxanalyzer.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.syyhoaxanalyzer.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.syyhoaxanalyzer.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.syyhoaxanalyzer.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2108"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.syyhoaxanalyzer.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2108\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.syyhoaxanalyzer.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.syyhoaxanalyzer.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2108"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.syyhoaxanalyzer.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2108"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.syyhoaxanalyzer.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2108"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}